Provocative opinions aired on the clothes line of life.

Friday, 3 December 2010

Humanity Annoys Me - Week Ending 12/11/10

Oh hi, how are you? Yeah I don't really care, I was just being polite. But now that you ask how I am, well, let me tell you....

Public Displays of Awareness

  • I'm not averse to the sentiment which comes with romance and love as a whole. Really I'm not. In fact, personally, I rather quite enjoy it. But I've said it once, and I'll say it again, this perpetual public display of awareness is bordering on insane behaviour. You're not declaring your love, you're declaring your insecurity and territorial obsessiveness. The whole point of being in a relationship with someone is the fact that they are available to you in private, when it's just the two of you. Dial their phone number, write a text message, type one to their inbox, tweet a direct message, instant message, send a carrier pigeon. The possibilities are endless. But please, stop making it public. Your love can exist without other people being privy to it. Really, it can.
Sentences are greater than symbols
  • > is a popular maths symbol which has leaped out of Key Stage 3 textbooks and become an overused aphorism which is beginning to wear on me. I've used it a few times to illustrate a point, sure. But it has the originality shelf life of dairy and it curdled long ago. It's wonderful that you have an opinion, really it is, a lot of people don't have any. But why stop there? Try backing your opinion up with an argument. Or if it's too challenging, please just write greater than instead. Did you know that's what it meant? Sure you did.
The iPhone Locator App
  • OK, let me just clear this up once and for all. I don't care what location you happen to be at. I don't care who you're there with. I don't care that you were there, but are no longer there and are now somewhere else equally more generic. Seriously, they're always generic places which is usually a Nandos or a Wetherspoon. It baffles me why people would want to make it known to other people how dull and mundane their choices of venues are. And if you persist with notifying me of your exact whereabouts via GPS, I will use this information and wait for you in the conveniently located alley behind it. So become more interesting or be silent. It's up to you.