All The Single Ladies Stick Your Tongue Out

Fantastic news for single women everywhere. FINALLY we can rest assured that ailments which befall our beloved vaginas are not a direct consequence of our single promiscuous lifestyles. I have been informed by a trusted source, that married vaginas are no more trustworthy than their single counterparts.

A friend of mine recently divulged that a colleague of his (who we will call Morgan so as to protect his identity) recently returned to work after a rather suspicious absence, which he claimed was on account of a chest infection. However Morgan displayed none of the typical symptoms of said chest infection i.e. a noticeably chesty cough. And as it transpired, Morgan is a lousy liar and crumbled under questioning from the Big Cheese at the first opportunity. He confessed to being the unfortunate victim of tongue thrush. And seen as this particularly nasty affliction typically befalls newborn babies and elderly people with dentures (of which Morgan is neither) I can only assume Morgan has contracted it via the act of cunninglingus from the yeast fungus in his wife's vaginal area.

As my friend so succinctly tweeted:

So let us put an end to the myth once and for all and remember that married people are just as likely to contract and pass on gynaecological ailments as single people are.