Provocative opinions aired on the clothes line of life.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Are you feeling blue and not 10ft tall? Press 1 on your keypad now.

I briefly touched upon my contempt for the insanely popular CGI phenomenon and possibly highest grossing film in history, “Avatar”, in my previous post and have since found startling new evidence which has propelled it to the forefront of my satirical backlash. I was perusing CNN online, getting up to date with Obama’s Sate of the Union Address and OK fine I was alerted to it via a friend’s Facebook status, whatever. I prefer The Onion anyway.
So basically a nasty little post-Avatar occurrence has transpired among audiences worldwide, in that they have actually experienced depression and suicidal thoughts because, (and I am in no way making this up), “they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.” That is a word for word accurate sentence taken from an article on CNN

And honestly, I empathise with these people I really do. I too have been experiencing depressive thoughts and suicidal tendencies, because funnily enough the more I see of humanity the more I am plunged into the depths of sheer despair at the uninformed stupidity of my fellow human counterparts, to the extent of which it actually engulfs me and prohibits me from doing anything construed as even vaguely productive.

Now, I am not someone who is easily shocked, easily riled yes, easily critical, yes, easily taken advantage of in a drunken situation, usually, but I could hardly stop my mouth from flying open as I continued to read on. It appears on account of this newly diagnosed, “post-avatar depression”, communities and forums have sprung up online to provide an outlet of informal sharing regarding the intensely emotional withdrawal symptoms the suckers are feeling. I can only surmise the title of the threads, Feeling blue and not 10ft tall? Longing for an inter species relationship? Pausing the video game and removing your clothing and touching yourself?

It appears some people are having trouble separating virtual life from real life and were so genuinely immersed in the 3D CGI effects that they feel a sense of loss when no longer able to experience the idyllic utopia they’d visited for 2 and a half hours. I mean I guess it’s what a lot of men feel like after indulging in some pornography and the self-realisation hits home “my mister is never going to be 18 inches like that guy's, man I feel short changed by nature.” Or how I feel whenever Girls Aloud slink around my television screen in little glitzy numbers shaking their 24 inch waists at me. Our inadequacies are often magnified by unattainable ideals, but it doesn’t take long for reality to slap you back in to its painful embrace. Especially when you hear Cheryl Cole speak. Let’s just say a Geordie voice over fused with a L’oreal hair campaign may be the most amusing oxymoron I’ve heard in a long time.

But most shockingly of all, was the fact that the reaction to the basic premise of the plot (in which a human corporation seeks to pillage and drain the resources of the alien community), has highlighted a majorly uninformed demographic of people. “Fans expressed feelings of disgust towards the human race”, with one commenting, “I live in a dying world.” Oh so now the polluted environment in which we have lived in for quite some time has finally hit home to them. Humanity is plundering the earth and draining its resources. This is brand new information. Thank you James Cameron for enlightening me on this fact. Because that hasn’t been a permanent media fixture in terms of culture and politics since oh I don’t know the 1970’s! I wonder if the same film could be used to enlighten these poor depressed individuals that human beings are actually the culprits for global warming? No, better off letting them live out their fantasies in Pandora and keeping that one to ourselves.