Status Quo

“Begin at the beginning and go on till you come to the end; then stop.” 
- Lewis Carol, Alice in Wonderland.

I rarely plan things. My belongings are perpetually strewn across the floor or haphazardly adorning various surfaces. The parting of my hair is non-existent. I scribble important dates, numbers and details on the back of envelopes never to be seen again. I frivolously spend every penny and more with little or nothing to show for it. I often have tears in my tights, my shoes need re-heeling and I’ve been using my hairdryer without the appropriate nozzle for as long as I can remember.

My life tends to be in a constant state of disarray. Yet, I like it that way. I know this because I don’t covet anyone else's. I’ve often been accused of being stuck up. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a certain level of arrogance.

Everyone around me seems to be on some sort of track. And that frightens me more than anything. Past conversations with friends about their plans for the future continue to haunt me. I don’t want to ever feel as though I should be doing what is expected of me because I’m a certain age.

Sure, there are a lot of things I want to achieve eventually. I experience ambition in waves. There are things I need to change. And there are things that are probably always going to stay the same. But at least for the moment, I’m happy. I don’t think a lot of people can truly say that. I think they confuse happiness with contentment. And while being content isn’t a bad thing, it’s certainly not enough for me.