Serious Journalism

The first rule about the hidden photocopier paper cupboard is you don’t talk about the hidden photocopier paper cupboard.

I’ve decided that the Telegraph is the thinking persons Daily Mail. While it doesn’t have quite the same caliber of sensationalist headlines based on nothing even remotely factual, it does throw in utter ludicrous statements wedged between otherwise standard news story paragraphs.

Take this sentence from a political article about Topshop boss Philip Green and his investigation into public sector spending:


“It is understood he has identified numerous examples of public bodies paying well over the commercial price for photocopier paper and other office supplies.”

WELL OVER? How much well over? Which other office supplies? Don’t tell me the Bic pens could have been bought in bulk cheaply elsewhere? Careless Civil Servants. Haven’t they heard of price comparison websites? Honestly.

Is there a secret back room in every office where the luxurious photocopier paper is stacked high to the ceiling like a hidden treasure trove of wonders where the evil administrators go and roll around, cackling giddily, covered in paper cuts?

Probably not. But I’m intrigued now. It’s 10am on a Thursday morning and I'm idly daydreaming about elitist photocopier paper.